Visit the Sick!
CATHEDRAL NEWSLETTER - 11 July 2024
Friends in Christ, in Matthew 25:31-46, Jesus taught us via the parable of the sheep and the goats.
It reminds us that heaven and hell are on the line in our response to Jesus' teaching. The evidence of our faith in King Jesus and his message will be revealed by how we treat others, especially brothers and sisters in Christ.
Today I want to focus on one example from this parable in Matthew 25:
34 ‘Then the King will say to those on his right, “Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. 35 For... I was ill and you looked after me...”
37 ‘Then the righteous will answer him, “Lord... 39 When did we see you ill...?”
40 ‘The King will reply, “Truly I tell you, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers and sisters of mine, you did for me.”
Notice that this is a passage for all Christians, not just for ordained clergy!
Recently a young family member drove all the way to Newcastle to visit an older Christian friend who was gravely ill. But she said to me...
"It’ll be nice to see her. But I don’t really know what I’m doing because hospitals make me feel awkward/I don’t have experience etc... Like do you just walk in and find your way or do you have to be shown to the ward by someone?"
And if you've never visited a hospital or nursing home, it is a bit daunting. Here's what I said in reply:
Ok. Make sure you check out visiting hours before you go. The hospital website should have details, although it can vary in case of specialty wards. And only visit then. Clergy and very close family can sometimes get in at other times, but not you.
When you arrive at the front foyer/main entry, you go to the “information desk”.
You say you want to visit the person, whose full name you give. Be ready to spell the surname, if it is not obvious.
They will tell you which ward. It’s generally a number, and either A or B, or East or west... Like 7A or 4North. They may or may not tell you a bed number.
Be ready to write it all down on your phone or paper, as it is easy to forget, if you are nervous about where to go.
Follow directions or signs to the lifts. If unsure tell the clerk you’ve never been here before.
On exiting the lift at the correct level, look for your ward. Generally it is open, but if not there will be a buzzer and you can go through same rigmarole of saying you want to visit your friend.
In you go, and if you don’t know bed number, go to nurse’s station and say you want to visit the person and they will give you bed/room number and point you on your way. Look in, or knock if the door is shut, then open/enter quietly.
Be a good listener - which you are. Ask good open questions, but be alert to sense if they are tired of answering questions.
Be ready to share a bit of news or what's going on for you, if appropriate, since they might want to talk about something else apart from their illness. But you are mainly there for them. So be ready to listen!
Also have a passage of Scripture you think might be encouraging in mind. Romans 8, from v31, or even just v35, is good since it acknowledges some trials may not go away this side of heaven, but illness still can’t separate us from God’s love in Christ Jesus, crucified and risen.
[My old bishop, Reg Piper, always reads the same things when he visits someone seriously ill or close to death, namely Psalm 23 and John 14:1-6, and he repeats these passages on repeat visits, to help underline the great truths these Scriptures contain!]
You could also suggest saying the Lord’s Prayer together and/or ask if your friend would like you to lead a prayer.
I always pray positively for recovery, and just as much for endurance and growing in faith. I also pray for God to help the busy doctors and nurses with wisdom and skill and energy... And also for the person’s family if appropriate.
Apart from this, I remind you of a couple of resources for ministry to the sick, some of which I have recommended before:
The 5Fs (facts, feelings, family, finances, faith) – a structure for helping a close friend or family member think through a possible terminal diagnosis – shared here from my time in Wollongong.
Hope Beyond Cure, a book under 100 pages, for those with cancer or other life-threatening illness - here's my review;
Down, Not Out, also under 100 pages, if a Christian or 'seeking' friend or loved one struggles with anxiety or depression;
Warmly in Christ,
Sandy Grant
Dean of Sydney